Have you ever been to Stapleton?

I had to go yesterday to pick something up from a former urbanite that moved there. This place is seriously scary. Built like Lowry, but with the faulty construction reminiscent of Highlands Ranch. It’s the new ghetto.

How do you go from this:

To this, and still call yourself urban?









You know it is the new ghetto, not just from the pre-fab construction, but because it is adjacent to the old ghetto, on all sides. This makes going grocery shopping there a very surreal experience. I tried and will never do that again. First, there was not a white male to be seen, in the entire store. Freakishly suburban. In addition to all the fit and tanned housewives with their small children and very expensive wardrobes, there were all the black families from the hood. These two groups of people shop very differently and you could feel the tension in the check out line. Also very different from shopping in the actual city (well, Capitol Hill) where everyone is gay. Very different shopping habits in that population as well.

I picked up my chicken breasts, greens, and US Magazine (need the scoop on the preg-o Brangelina) and fled the scene. On my way back to the main road, I took a wrong turn and ended up on what is now the scariest part of the new built environments. The fake main street. Oops, I mean “town center”. Also pre-fab, about 1.5 blocks long and chock-full of corporate business – Starbucks, Noodles & Co., Chipotle, Fantastic Sams, you get the idea. The only local business was a liquor store. This will be the only business left in 15 years when this becomes the ghetto.


The question is, why did a number of my hipster acquainteces move to this nightmare? If it looks like the suburbs, is populated like the suburbs, IT’S THE SUBURBS! Address means nothing. This place is scary. Don’t go.