Pulpit Freedom Sunday

Alliance of Right Wing Nutjobs and Round Churches stage a tax exempt circus

LA Times: Beware the bully pulpit
NY Times: Ministers to Defy IRS

Please don't try to save me with your christmas card.

Yep, my first x-mas card arrived and it is smug and offensive. It came from the cousin who changed her e-mail address from wildscorpio because it was too racy. The front reads "Our lives and homes are truly blessed when warmed by the Saviour's love and rest." I know, I should not have opened it. It's not like it was going to get any better. Inside, the card reads "A prayer that you and your loved ones will be surrounded in the warmth of Jesus' love this Christmas. Have a Blessed Christmas."

Since I can't find a 'Jesus, save me from your followers' christmas card, this is the only appropriate card to respond with. I'd also like to find a 'please stop pushing your religion on me' e-card. I'm going to make the suggestion to these folks.

Disturbing

If the Colorado Springs Police were able to arrive at the scene in 2- 3 minutes after the first 911 call, can someone explain to me why "Pro-Life" New Life Church needs armed security guards?

Blasphemy: I Love the UAE (Oman was even better)

People reacted unusually to my vacation destination: Where? What’s that? Aren’t you afraid? Isn’t that near Iraq?

No, fear never struck me until I was there. The scariest thing about being in the Middle East was poetically my own fellow Americans. Knowing that a lot of them would just as soon bomb the shit out of any country not deemed 'worthy' made me feel vulnerable and angry at a goodly percentage of our country.

My experience in UAE and Oman were compounded by spam forwarded by one of my aunts in good ol' Madison County, Indiana. It read "Boycott this 'Christmas' Stamp" and went something along the lines of how dare our government print a Christmas (this was the first clue of ignorance; I believe Eid is the season between the end of Ramadan through Mohammed's death) stamp (in print since 2001) for people who don't even believe in Jesus Christ (false--next clue) and how if everyone just banded together and refused to buy the stamp (so impactful--yet another clue)--all 41 cents worth--it would be a noble cause. Having just purchased a sheet of Eid stamps myself, and being in a Muslim country, I couldn't help firing off a reply to all. And so now a large portion of my ear-infected waking time is absorbed with how I should reply to the reply to my reply. I deleted some responses without looking at them, but I did read my aunt's which seems to be blaming hateful people who want to poison our children with paint, those who have recently become citizens who seem to have less rights than other citizens, all non-Christians, international aid, and greedy foreign companies for job loss. Shew!

I guess she didn't take me up on my suggestion to voice her concerns to her legislator, because her intended path of action is still to boycott the stamp.

So, really the ONLY scary part of being in the Muslim world was knowing that I am stymied as to how to address a major portion of my own country who has forgotten how to love thy neighbor.

And that, my friends, pretty much sums up my analysis of my trip. More later on how Mohammed is not too down with women and the schools of the UAE.

Jesus Camp: The saga continues

Subtitle: Oh my fucking god!

Last night Rspe & I watched Jesus Camp. To quote Rspe "Okay, let me say that this was the single most disturbing movie that I have seen in years." It was.

Tonight I watched the deleted scenes. Here are some of the highlights:
1. A parade of about 20 small children walking through the streets of Lee Summit, MO speaking in tongues and praying to Jesus. It culminates with them laying their hands on the VFW hall (likely with vets drinking inside who have been turned out by their government) and praying for their safety in Iraq.
2. Everything is OK (especially war) so long as "God told you to do that".
3. "When I was growing up, Christians were very docile, very passive." "Now we fight by lifting our voices to heaven, we fight with our votes . . . that is the way we go to war." "We read to the back of the book. We win.

Also, I didn't know that Veggie Tales was a christian program until I saw this documentary. It is shown on regular tv!! And, I don't think they pay for the air time.

You should watch this documentary with the commentary on. It gives the insight of the documentarians during the filming. Fanstastic.

Stop preaching at me through my goddamn television!

Let me start by saying that I typically listen to NPR while working at home, but I could not stand the domination of General Petratus last week and Colorado Matters has been kind of boring lately. Plus, truth be told, I wanted to see how Whoopi Goldberg was going to work out on The View. She's ok. I enjoyed the week-long discussion about bras that occurred after the producers made her wear one on the show. Anyway, they added another host last week. Sheri Shepherd, a right-wing fundamentalist christian. She must be the perky blond's wet dream. The chat around the table has become a fundamentalist christian circle jerk and it is starting to piss me off.

This morning was the last straw. Whoopi asked Sherri if the earth is flat (in an attmept to get her to think critically), and the fucking genius said she had not really thought about it. She thought maybe the earth could be flat. I turned off my television and went back to NPR.
UPDATE: Huffington Post has the clip.

The earth is flat??!!! Come on. How much money does this woman earn on the show and she hasn't accepted that science might be right about the earth being round. People, this is how republicans get elected.

Also, I love this story. Nebraska State Senator Sues God.
UPDATE: God apparently responds to lawsuit

Note to self . . .

Put more money in savings, spend less on gay male prostitutes and methamphetamine.

I learned this little life lesson from my favorite news story of last week. Ted Haggard has asked his supporters for money to help he and his wife while they pursue their masters degrees in (get this) psychology.

I guess the hundreds of thousands of dollars they received from the New Life Church in settlement didn't last them more than a few months and they have that pesky $700,000 mortgage hanging over their heads. Or maybe a second-rate university for professional studies doesn't hand out financial aid to millionaires. Boo hoo.

Or, just maybe, this is further proof that born-again christianity is nothing more than another money-making scheme.

UPDATE: This just keeps getting better and better. "Disgraced minister Ted Haggard is asking that donations to support him and his family be sent to a Monument group run by a twice-convicted sex offender."

I did not need to find this

I got an e-mail from one of my cousins tonight notifying me of her e-mail address change. And I quote . . .

"I have finally decided I better grow up and delete my
e-mail account. This screen name no longer fits me nor is professional. I will be deleting the old one in the next week. Thank you all for your assistance in this matter."

It seems that she has found god and is now a "prayer group leader" at her church. Being a heathen, I had to look that one up. Instead of an answer, I found this. I actually think that we have blogged about the Presidential Prayer Team before. But the national leaders prayer cards needed their own entry.

"I don’t know about you, but I sometimes struggle with remembering all of the
national leaders for whom I should be praying. Well, PPT has come up with an
exciting new prayer tool to help you pray for our American leaders. It's
called the U.S. National Leaders Prayer Deck."

I spend most of my day trying to forget about our "national leaders". Thank god this handy little tool is available to remind me for an eternity of the laughing stock of 2000 - 2008. Priceless.

So why haven't we commented yet on Senator Vitter? Yet another proselytizer of family values found with his dick in a prostitute. I guess it does get old after a while.

I secretly hope a lesbian feminist abortionist pagan got him . . .

And, I know that I'll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say, "You helped this happen."-- Rev Jerry Falwell, blaming civil libertarians, feminists, homosexuals, and abortion rights supporters for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, quoted from John F Harris, "God Gave US 'What We Deserve,' Falwell Says," The Washington Post (September 14, 2001)

Here are a whole bunch of doosies from the Falwell collection.

And, as usual, The Onion got it right in their September 26, 2001 edition: Jerry Falwell: Is That Guy A Dick Or What?

“Completely Heterosexual”

This has to be my most favorite Denver Post headline, ever. I heard that the print headline was “I’m Not Gay” which I cannot substantiate since I only read the news online. In any event, that would actually be my favorite headline ever if it is true. Evidently Haggard did not consult with Alfred Kinsey who developed a scale of sexuality of 0-6 and determined that there were no 0’s, so no one is completely heterosexual. I love the Wiki on this.

I caught an MSNBC program today (caught it at the gym, for those knowing that I don’t have cable) and actually laughed out loud. I didn’t realize I was making laughing noises (due to the volume on my beloved iPod) until the guy on the damned eliptical machine next to me began laughing and said “Isn’t that priceless”. I don’t typically approve of gym conversation, but he was right. We shared a laugh once I pulled the ear buds out. I digress . . .

Keith Olberman had an interview with “former” prostitute Mike Jones, who commented on the fact that Haggard had be sequestered with 4 male “psychologists” and said “and that’s not gay?”. Very funny stuff.

Date to Save, Vol. 2

Last night, after a few hours of imbibing with SNG to celebrate her coup, and reminding her not to pick the first guy that picks her, DHP caught a show about some cult called "The Family". It was sufficiently entertaining, but one of their recruitment techniques reminded DHP of the "Date to Save" phenomenon CD2E recently turned us on to. This particular cult calls it "Flirty Fishing" which completely freaks me out. I would just have to say that this similarity is further proof that big round churches are modern day cults.

Got to love it when an asshole gets his just deserts

Tape has former official asking aide for kickback

Ex-Jeffco treasurer indicted on two felony charges

Former Jefferson County Treasurer Mark Paschall was booked into the Jefferson County Jail late Monday after he was indicted on two felony charges for allegedly soliciting a kickback from a top aide. The indictment alleges that on Dec. 27, Paschall offered a $25,092 pre-tax bonus to his administrative assistant, Kathy Redmond, and asked her to split the money after taxes. Paschall, 52, of Arvada,was charged by a Jefferson County grand jury with one count of attempted felony theft and one count of compensation for past official behavior. If convicted, Paschall could face one to three years in prison on the theft count and 18 months on the compensation count.

FROM DHP - So I'm hoping that since SNG can't read the blog anymore she won't mind that I shortened her posting of the full article for a synopsis and link in order to provide the back story. Because it is soooo good. You see Mark Paschall used to be in the State House. He was a champion of family values. So, like all good purveyors of family-values that attend big round churches and spout off publicly about their superiority, he had his dick in everything that walked under the dome. Women (particularly interns) and some rumored that he had a bit of Ted Haggard in him as well. He was an anti-choice, anti-gay, gun toting freakshow back when they ruled the day at the capitol. Good times, let me tell you. Anyway, that is why both DHP and SNG take such glee in the fact that we get to post his mug shot on our blog. Hee hee hee.

(No wonder he had to resort to extortion, he has that cookie-cutter McMansion mortgage to pay off. Did I also mention that he has absolutely no taste?)

For DHP's netflix...

Friends of God Why? Because how can you not want to see a drive thru prayer center, bible themed mini golf courses, and learn a song about the dinosaurs in the bible.

Flirt to Convert

We really must stop eating at chain restaurants on Sunday "after church". Overheard today....

-Theory that the "liberals" are hiding the WMD in Iraq just to make Bush look bad. Great relief was shared that now that Saddam was dead, the 9/11 nightmare is over.
- Home from college participants discuss their Missionary Dating activities. (Bummer that no one seemed to be dressed in appropriate attire.)
-Quizzing of young children on the geography of heaven.
- Discussion of the lies of "science". (Where are those Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster tracts when you need them?)

More christmas-hating and satan worshiping, and a movie recommendation

So, I went looking on the internets tonight for a good old peace sign wreath because I’m not crafty enough to make my own and I came up with some fantastic blogs on the subject instead. Looks like I’ll have to make one at the next craft day. This will be my first holiday decoration (other than a poinsettia) put up since days of the LEON related theme (love the Hot Pants!).

This is my most favorite blog that includes a rant on the christmas-hating, devil worshiping liberals down in Pagosa Springs. The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 270.
“Okay, where are we so far... liberals trying to ruin Christmas, check. Peace symbols = devil worship, check. Animated penguins making children gay, check. iPods helping the terrorists, check. As you can see, conservatives have really got some great ideas for winning back Congress in 2008. Oh yes, they're in touch with the mainstream. They've got their finger on America's pulse, you might say.”
The review of Happy Feet is actually my favorite part.

I was also going to write a rant of the “Peace. Love. The Gap.” ad, but I couldn’t possible top this one. "Peace Love The Gap": Everything that's wrong with this country in 30 seconds.

I watched my most favorite movie today, Harold and Maude. If you have never seen it, that needs to be corrected. If you haven’t seen it in a while, add it to your netflix, you will find new things you never knew were there.

Oh Jesus . . .

Let the anti-christmas rant begin.
Subdivision bans Christmas wreath with peace sign.
While we're here, let's revistit Drag-Queen Bible Dolls.

Drag Queen Bible Dolls

You may have heard the back and forth about Toys for Tots and Jesus dolls. (If you missed this & want to read more, go to Google News & search for "Jesus".)



Here is the entertaining part... all the Marys have the same face as Jesus!