The Gay Christian Pirate strikes again.

Figure skating men freak me out. Other than Neil Diamond, no man should wear a shiny shirt, let alone a whole entire shiny outfit. I think it might be the dramatic hand gestures that also leads to my discomfort. Either way, the pinnacle of freaky male figure skaters appeared on my television tonight. He was dressed as a gay christian pirate. I missed the music, so I’ll assume there was some kind of theme, though I really cannot imagine what it was. But there he was, shiny pantsuit fashioned in a pirate motif, earring in the top of his ear, and there, embedded in the chest hair peeking out of the v-neck of his lycra top was the giant gold cross on a chain.

I quickly switched the tv away from the Olympics and landed on Dancing with the Stars. More dramatic men in lycra costumes. There is no shelter. Run for your lives.

(Unfortunately I could not find a photo of the gay christian pirate, but really, the picture to the left captures the essence.)