Tuesday, January 23, 2007

"The state of our union is strong"

I’m anxiously awaiting CLC’s state of the union overview because she is much funnier than I (remember last year’s review?). Here’s what I heard.

Fully fund the war. Balance the budget without raising taxes (I can only assume that means throwing women off welfare, oh and maybe stopping bridges to nowhere, maybe.) Subsidize private health insurance. Block grant public health insurance programs for the most needy. Privatize public education (you know, for the minority children).

Global climate change (not warming, change). Subsidize clean coal (such a thing exists?) and nucular (sic) power, oh, and throw a bone to those hippies who want wind and solar power. Reduce our dependence on oil much slower than the rest of the world (I think he said 20% in 20 years).

September 11th. Terrorist, terrorist, terrorist. Fully fund the war.

Stop AIDS in Africa by giving money to Pharma. (Those fags that get it here deserve to die.) Eliminate global poverty. Those morons who can’t pull themselves up by the bootstraps in the US should just live on the streets. Just look at the black guy in the gallery who is the shining example of who we should be. More gratuitous examples of people who can pull themselves up. Just look again in the gallery, heroes, all of them.

We’ve been through a lot together. (Yeah, it’s called the Bush administration). God bless.

4 comments:

codown2earth said...

Didn't watch it but Daily Show had a Pre-game show where they suggested Shrub might say the Union was Strong-tastic or Strong-alicious this year.

DenverHotPants said...

I was hoping that my netfilx would save me from having to watch Shrub, but alas, Six Feet Under didn't come until today. Damn comcast cable and their exorbatent rates!!

rebeckspe said...

a friend from NYC kept texting me pictures of Cheney's bald head and the single word "nucular" during the entire speech.

Somehow, it seemed apropos.

ChristianLiberalChic said...

Sorry for the delay...had a funeral of a friend & got distracted...Shrub wasn't nearly as funny or stupid this year...he almost seemed dumbfounded that there was a woman AND a democrat behind him. He almost looked drunk. I'm posting now...