Wednesday, May 23, 2007

24 inch receipt for 4 items

We just ran out to Safeway to pick up (1) emergency dog food, (2) Sugar Free Creamer for JB's coffee, and (3) 2 packs of gum. Our receipt is 24 inches long. Seriously. Safeway is running the most complicated promotions right now. Here is just a sampling of the 20 inches of nonsense....

Save .75 on every 1.50 you spend on FRESH ONIONS/DRY GARLIC...
Save .50 on every 3.00 you spend on CHIPS, PRETZELS, AND CHEESE PUFFS...
Save 2.00 on every 6.00 you spend on GROUND BEEF....
Save .50 on every 1.50 you spend on CARROTS/CELERY/CUCUMBER/RADISH/GREEN ONIONS....

This is followed by the Status Report section of the receipt....

You have accumulated 0.00 of 1.50 towards a savings of .75 on the purchase of FRESH ONIONS/DRY GARLIC
And so on, and so on

(1) Just put the damn stuff on sale. It's Fresh Onions & Dry Garlic. Are people really buying boatloads of these things where a cap is required?
(2) There aren't even any good coupons on the back. At least if King Soopers were handing out 2 feet of receipt, I would be sure to get 3 or 4 coupons for the "Mothership"
(3) We really just needed emergency dog food which you printed under the headline of "Groc Nonedible". Is this to make me feel even more guilty for buying grocerys store dog food? Especially since even my gum was listed as "Grocery".
(4) I didn't realize that "Cheese Puffs" were such a unique item that they couldn't be assumed as part of the larger "Chip" family. What makes them so damn special?

5 comments:

ChristianLiberalChic said...

Now we know why the sell organic foods...so they can justify killing trees for lame advertising, which, as you pointed out - NO ONE READS! Too bad we can't get "paperless" receipts the way we can do everything else!

rebeckspe said...

I hate to say it, but since the subject came up, this "very long and detailed printed receipt" is one of the many reasons I don't shop at Safeway anymore (we can discuss others at the next Craft Day).

Every dog food run in my house is an emergency. I have no ability to plan ahead, even when I know kibble is getting low.

My own "emergency" shopping experience yesterday - I wanted some peanut butter. I went to the 7-11: NO. PEANUT. BUTTER. How can this be??

For a convenience store, this was highly inconvenient.

InfoChef said...

If there is some kind of terrorist attack--real or imagined--or anything else you might deem an emergency, rest assured you may come over to restock on staples here Chez InfoChef.

This would be a great place to repost the many-years-ago email round-robin of 'What's in Your Fridge, or Cabinets?'.....

codown2earth said...

If there is a terrorist attack or a grocery strike or whatever, I do plan to be at Casa InfoChef. But that does leave me wondering, what the hell will Tres Elefantes eat? Perhaps I should start stockpiling brown rice now.

InfoChef said...

We have the half-box of dog biscuits left when the house was purchased circa 1995.

Currently used only on the rare occassion that a dog drops by.