Saturday, July 5, 2008

Fireworks are (EVIDENTLY) Perfectly LEGAL

I should book my July 4, 2009, holiday out of town right now while it's fresh in my mind. And has been since late last night.

You see, if you ever visited and thought Whittier was the pinnacle of fireworks display, come on over to Curtis Park, where your neighbors set off fireworks 'til 3 effin' AM. At least in Curtis Park, they are considerate enough to take their trash back home with them instead of littering the intersections for days to come.

Yep, that's right, not just any ol' activity, though; you haven't lived until you've gone outside in your nightgown at 1AM to ask if it isn't getting a little late to the guy (same one who's the owner of the Guy-Across-The-Street-Who-Yells-At-His-Kids mental image in my mind) setting off the display in front of your house--you know, it's so much better to view them from a distance, and you wouldn't want your own house in danger of catching fire, right?! Anyway, I've discovered my own ideal height of torture--being rudely awakened every 45 minutes by alarming firecrackers.

But the real point of this post is that whatever law or ordinance says that 'FIREWORKS ARE ILLEGAL IN THE CITY AND COUNTY OF DENVER' is a JOKE!!! Do any of our city council members live in town, and if so, do they stay here for the 4th?! Or do they just live in the tony neighborhoods were they live out the suburban (and currently, my) dream of 'all quiet after 10'?! I have actually called the police before concerning fireworks and been laughed at, as if the situation--and it must be--is entirely out of their control.

When I wasn't being startled or wondering at what point I should try the 'fireworks hotline' I was busy planning my revenge. Although I like to think that I am a respectful person, such torture can drive a sleep-deprived citizen to new heights. How I dread tonight, July 5, when I'll be plotting my vacation for 2009.


codown2earth said...

The Original Goofador (all 90 lbs sat on my head shaking through the trauma), JB & I are soooo jealous that your fireworks went til 3 effin AM.

Ours didn't wrap up until 5 AM. And they have been going for a week!

codown2earth said...

Some dumbass is shooting off fireworks right now at 3 in the afternoon. What is the point?

InfoChef said...

That may be the 11-year-old emulators of the fabulous father figures from previous nights, or perhaps previous decades.

It must be a guy thing. Ernie brought Bert back some bottle rockets from SD. As a gift. Not a joke. What is the point of THESE--they just make noise and don't even have pretty lights?!