A few weeks ago DHP's dad forwarded her one of those irritating e-mails that ususally contain some kind of false health warning or pictures of kittens. This one was George Carlin's New Rules for 2007 - or at least something that has been attributed to George Carlin, but likely is not his material at all. Anyway, I don't typically read this kind of spam, but my dad has never ever sent me such crap, so I read it. It was funny, and it contained this "wisdom" . . .
"The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole. "
I agree whole heartedly. Today I found myself working in a local coffeehouse, Scooter Joes, and have just heard the most ridiculous coffee orders ever. . .
"Small sugar-free caramel skinny latte." Had it been decaf, this person would have to be declared coffee jack-ass of the year. Then her friend ordered "Small sugar-free vanilla decaf skinny latte". She also got a cookie. She wins.
"The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole. "
I agree whole heartedly. Today I found myself working in a local coffeehouse, Scooter Joes, and have just heard the most ridiculous coffee orders ever. . .
"Small sugar-free caramel skinny latte." Had it been decaf, this person would have to be declared coffee jack-ass of the year. Then her friend ordered "Small sugar-free vanilla decaf skinny latte". She also got a cookie. She wins.
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5 comments:
Bill Maher has New Rules on his HBO show, Real Time.
New Rule: Call things what they are. If your morning coffee contains crushed ice, whipped cream and caramel, it's a milkshake! Same as if you cook your cocaine on a spoon and smoke it. You're not freebasing. You're a crackhead.
http://www.hbo.com/billmaher/new_rules/20030905.html
also: http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/newrules.asp
I knew it! That snopes is a gold mine.
BTW, I will have to insert one comment in defense of the girl ordering complicated coffee in a coffee house... she was in a coffee house. It's not like she was at busy brunch spot at a table of 26... with separate checks.
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