Sunday, January 28, 2007

Coffee assholes.


A few weeks ago DHP's dad forwarded her one of those irritating e-mails that ususally contain some kind of false health warning or pictures of kittens. This one was George Carlin's New Rules for 2007 - or at least something that has been attributed to George Carlin, but likely is not his material at all. Anyway, I don't typically read this kind of spam, but my dad has never ever sent me such crap, so I read it. It was funny, and it contained this "wisdom" . . .

"The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole. "

I agree whole heartedly. Today I found myself working in a local coffeehouse, Scooter Joes, and have just heard the most ridiculous coffee orders ever. . .

"Small sugar-free caramel skinny latte." Had it been decaf, this person would have to be declared coffee jack-ass of the year. Then her friend ordered "Small sugar-free vanilla decaf skinny latte". She also got a cookie. She wins.

9 comments:

codown2earth said...

Bill Maher has New Rules on his HBO show, Real Time.

New Rule: Call things what they are. If your morning coffee contains crushed ice, whipped cream and caramel, it's a milkshake! Same as if you cook your cocaine on a spoon and smoke it. You're not freebasing. You're a crackhead.

http://www.hbo.com/billmaher/new_rules/20030905.html

rebeckspe said...

and thus i reiterate: grande drip refill = fifty four cents and a very low asshole factor.

rebeckspe said...

also: http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/newrules.asp

DenverHotPants said...

I knew it! That snopes is a gold mine.

codown2earth said...

BTW, I will have to insert one comment in defense of the girl ordering complicated coffee in a coffee house... she was in a coffee house. It's not like she was at busy brunch spot at a table of 26... with separate checks.

DenverHotPants said...

Ha! Good point. That was the height of asshole behavior.

ChristianLiberalChic said...

I've got to agree with COD2E...they're in a coffee house. If you go to a coffee house in a hurry, you're the asshole. Go to McD's for free coffee if you're in a hurry - or - odd thought - by a coffee maker with a timer and make it at home.

HotPants01 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
HotPants01 said...

"Simon says, go fuck yourself!" That's HP01's favorite Carlin!