So I have a co-worker who has 46 outstanding deliverables to me. Anything I have seen from her in the last 6 months has been late AND half-assed. And by late, I have long ago moved to a "when can you have that to me" approach with deadlines. Worse than that, she is not delivering for "my customers" (the staff I work with in the branches of our organization).
We have an emergency early morning meeting yesterday. Well, 9am for them. It is to give our staff some bad news about the project. (1) She is late, (2) she was in charge of breakfast but instead brings a tin of store bought cookies, and (3) she tells a painful story about awards that were given to staff in her first job for multi-tasking called Plate Spinner Awards. (4) Two hours later, the email below is sent out announcing the launch of the Plate Spinner Awards Program. Shortly after she comes into my local employees office requesting a glue stick. (5) I call her to get a verbal answer needed for a 3pm call. She ask if my question is urgent (it was 2:50) because she has something she has to do. Yes, had already delivered the "award" in photo above (source: my local employee's camera phone) to all of the staff in the office and had to hit the mail room before it closed for the day. Yes, my plate is in the mail. SHE DID THIS DURING THE WORKDAY IN THE OFFICE. OH, SHE HAD BETTER THINGS TO DO. DID I MENTION THE 46 OUTSTANDING DELIVERABLES?
Your collective and individual efforts have been noteworthy and demonstrate a willingness and ability to keep multiple plates spinning..... Due to this ability, the Plate Spinner Recognition program is being launched.
What is the Plate Spinner Recognition Program? 
Plate Spinner "Plates" are given to recognize efforts and accomplishments, express gratitude or encouragement, etc. of Team Members. Nominations for "plates" can be sent to XXX.
What is a Plate Spinner?
Plate spinners are persons who spin plates, bowls, and other objects on poles, without them falling over. This difficult feat has become part of pop culture when referencing projects requiring multi tasking.
What's in my Plate Spinner Kit?
Plate Spinner "Plates"- Recognition of efforts and accomplishments, expressions of gratitude or encouragement
Breathsavers - a reminder to take a breather... stop to think about what good work has already been accomplished and rejuvenate to reach the finish line (deployment)
Breakfast bar - for your enjoyment
UPDATE: My plate arrived today with double bubble. Why double bubble? I don't know what to do with that since it is not in my Plate Spinner Kit explaination.
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5 comments:
Oh. My. God. I love self-employment.
My day isn't looking so bad anymore.
Yeah, here's to not having co-workers.
Although I can be equally as annoying to myself quite frequently. With a self like me, who needs co-workers?!
What possible plate revenge could be dreamed up here--a plate with a gift from Tres Elefantes in the mail?!
My pate arrived today. I will be sure to have it proudly on display the next time craters are over. My employee & I are considering just nominating someone everyday for annoying reasons to get re-plated. N answered the phone while typing an email. Excellent multitasking. B ate breakfast while editing a status report. Way to go. J rebooted a server while talking to his manager. Great work. The only problem is I have to be there in person next week and I am concerned I will not be able to keep a straight face in person. So much easier to be a smartass from afar.
It's like the Snap Cup in Reese Witherspoon's Legally Blonde 2!!! You're practically a sorority girl now!!! He! He! He! He!(I'll continue to laugh for you for a while :) Snaps for COD2E. (Still laughing)
P.S. No smart ass comments as to why I remember this or even saw the movie. We all KNOW I'm the prissy one :) NOT that I would EVER do this to any of my employees.
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