Wednesday, August 6, 2008

gay strip clubs and douche bags on bikes

First, please accept my apologies for being so bad about blogging this summer. It's not like I've been busy with work. It seems that my job this summer is to increase the stock of Grey Goose and single-handedly keep bars in Denver open.

Let me share with you some of my observances from my summer of debauchery.

Gay strip clubs are amazing. I highly recommend Boystown at 3rd and Broadway. Dammit those boys are hot-t and can do things on a pole that will make you sweat. And, yes they are clothed and are wearing fantastic shoes. Love it!

High gas prices have had a negative affect that I did not anticipate. Douche bags on bikes. I have a few tips for the assholes riding around my neighborhood. Get out of the middle of the street before I run you down. A helmet might be a good idea. You are a lot slower than the flow of traffic and you could at least fucking pedal to try and keep up. The gears that make it harder to pedal actually make you go faster. Now get out of my way while blow through my savings and pollute the environment. My gas taxes pay for these fucking roads and I'm going to drive on them.

I love Cuba Cuba. And the Cruise Room because of its heavy air conditioning, lack of windows, and strong drinks. Perfect for a hot summer night. I absolutely cannot stand Elways ... both the Cherry Creek and Downtown locations. Plastic surgery disasters seem to be their only clientele. However, the Ritz-Carlton hotel downtown is absolutely incredible and some day I want to make enough money to be able to stay there.

I went to the Queen Sooper on Monday and they were out of some very strange items. Organic milk, asparagus, and free-range chicken. This prompted me to wonder if this is how rationing starts. If I remember history correctly high prices and food shortages lead to rationing, right?

I've experienced a lot more this summer, but unfortunately Grey Goose has cost me some brain cells and I can't remember what I did yesterday let alone 2 months ago.

7 comments:

codown2earth said...

I can't even believe you were at not one but two locations of Elways! Grey Goose appreciates your loyalty. You are helping to balance my vodka-free summer.

codown2earth said...

PS. Glad to see you back on the blog.

InfoChef said...

We have a Ritz-Carlton in Denver? I must get out more. Or not--and just stay in touch via the blog. I, too, am glad that my Elway's experience has been virtual only.

Totally with you on the bikes thing. And haven't you also noticed an increase in skateboard transportation?

Um, those boys that are making you sweat don't like girls, you know. I'm kind of doubting there were many available straight males in the crowd. Alas, maybe at the Ritz....

DenverHotPants said...

LHT, I feel like we have entered a Joey/Phoebe agreement about eating meat. Is my vodka cut off date December 7?

rebeckspe said...

the perfect drunk dinner at cuba cuba is the cubano (of course) with chips. goes well with mojitos and raunchy talk.

Andrew Oh-Willeke said...

The Glendale paper touts Elways as Denver's leading Cougar bar.

DenverHotPants said...

Of course they did, and it is completely true. Reasons why I will never enter Elways again. Faces pulled tight, and breasts that are rock hard. So freaking gross. Like being back in Los Angeles.